Pathways to Paradise

It’s that time of year again. Time where we take a look back at the year passed. Time where we review what we accomplished. Time where we honor all those people scouring the internet for their weird sex things who mistakenly ended up here, home of myself, the weirdest sex thing around.

I don’t know about you, but my 2017 blew chunks. Even this year’s search terms leading people to this blog are more mundane than they have been in years past. But still, it’s worth taking a look at what’s become a somewhat annual tradition for us here at Lost to the Aether, and seeing if we can discern just why exactly I am so crazy popular. Here are some of the more unusual search terms that have brought people here.

yandere simulator porn

Once again, this has taken the top slot of our search engine referrals. It used to be that people would mistakenly stumble onto our post about the visual novel Yandere-chan, which is neither porn nor is it Yandere Simulator. Midway through last year, I attempted to at least redirect people to something somewhat relevant to them by writing a post about Yandere Simulator, so that those getting lost on the dark side of the internet would find something halfway relevant to their search, at least. I like to think that I’ve left these randy wanderers at least a bit better off by connecting with their interests.

yandere chan porn

Except apparently I was already there for a bunch of people.

in legend of zelda is link an indian

The most popular post on this site by far is some random musings about the connection between the Japanese Rupee used in the occupation of Burma and the currency of Legend of Zelda. Rupees are a subject of much consideration on the internet. But to answer you question, no, Legend of Zelda has no direct connection to India, no shared themes, nothing. The rupee thing just seems to be a coincidence. Or is it? Read the internet’s hottest post to find out.

In any case, this is probably the biggest stretch I’ve seen so far, in regards to that subject.

viola dewynter boob inflation fanfic

Apparently, there’s a lot of weird searches that lead people here. I would normally let this one roll off me. But I got more than just a few hits coming from this fetish search. And it’s odd to me. Not only would multiple people be searching for this specific character in this specific fetish, but multiple people saw my site pop up in the search results, with nothing anywhere here about boob inflation I might add, and thought that they’d interrupt whatever it is people into boob inflation do and spend time here.

I’m not sure if I should be happy people are reading my stuff or if I should be hoping they were disappointed by what they found.

aether sex videos com

This search, or a variation on it, pops up every year. Give it a rest. You will never find them. I’ve hidden them too well.

stupid things said by cliff bleszinski

Hahahahahaha ha ha… ha…. aw man. I don’t mind the guy, particularly that he realizes this about himself, but yeah. There’s a well that’s never going to run dry.

saints row 2 red gang mullet

This one just makes me happy. I think I’m going to start calling the character that. Red Gang Mullet certainly fits him a lot better than whatever his name was.

yandere lost to the aether

For the record, no. I’ve written about yandere’s. I’m not one myself. Then again, would a yandere know that they were really yandere?

what is the exact falling action for the lost future story

Hey look! Somebody got distracted while doing their English II homework.

what month of the year does the aether fall from heaven

That’s probably the sweetest attempt to find out my birthday that I’ve ever come across. Still, no luck for you there. I’ve devoured my birthday a long time ago. The secret to my eternal youth.

The ladies choice guy

That’s right! I am the guy who is the ladies’ choice! You found the right place, coming here…

oh. wait. You were looking for something else.

jesus jedi

This one is notable mostly in that I have no idea how this lead you here. What could I have written that this search would possibly connect to. I’m honestly curious.

And that’s that for this year. See you all again in however long I feel like!

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Bringing you to the Blog, 2016 Edition

Hey, so it’s been an Aether asskicker of a month.  You may have noticed this, as you felt that vague sense of depression settling in, as you noticed that you don’t have as much new Lost to the Aether content as usual.  Yeah, that happens sometimes.  I’m trying to defeat the final boss known as real life right now, and you know, this stuff takes time.

So, my schedule won’t clear up for another week or so.  I’m halfway through my next post here, but clearly not going to have it done in time to make your lives better this week.  But I don’t want to leave all you guys hanging, so I figured, hey, let’s pull out a good old mainstay here, and take a look at some of the search terms that are introducing you to the blog.  And hey, as it turns out, a lot of people on the internet are weird.  And many of those are reading these words.  Let’s make fun of them!

yandere simulator porn

So, this year, I tried to stem the tide of people looking for Yandere Simulator and accidentally finding the similarly-named Yandere-chan by, you know, actually writing about Yandere Simulator.  And only a little bit about porn.  In doing so, I was trying to perform a public service for the internet at large.  Helping people actually find something relevant to what they’re looking for, rather than getting them confused by the similarly named games.

yandere chan porn

Hey look!  It worked!  No more mistaken placements here!

Wait…

yandere simulator yandere chan porn

Okay, yeah, you made your point.

sexy female dragon

I write about being sexy a lot.  I get it.  The state of being that is sexiness is something I have to live with constantly.  It is both my blessing and my curse.  So it ends up coming out through my writing fairly often.  So I see how that would draw a lot of those types of search terms.

Even so, I don’t think I’ve ever written about lusty dragons.  What the blazes, Google?

세인츠로우3 모닝스타

How… even… Okay, so Google translate says this is looking for Saints Row 3 material.  Which I’ve definitely written about.  Even so… Well, I guess the excellence of my writing just crosses language barriers.  It’s like a smile.

drops of god 12 apostle spoiler

Wikipedia will spoil that for you.  Seriously, given that the series gave up in English after five volumes, and even the Scanlators don’t bother, Wikipedia is the closest thing to an official English  language source.

why is sephiroth left handed

How else would you represent the coolest and most supreme character of the game?  Seriously, you want something to represent that someone is just plain better than anyone else, make them left-handed.

real life yandere stories

Please no.  Like, I get that there’s that fascination that drives people to look up serial killer stories, but still.  That’s too much of my life in there for me.

yandere simulator real story porn

No.  No.  Just no.

hybrid heaven 2

Haaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

aether sex videos

We’ve been through this already.  Yes, I’m very sexy.  Yes, I am the perfect lady’s man.  But I know fully well to leave that stuff in the bedroom.

You will never find it.

leave it to beaver retrospective part 3

Wut.  I don’t think I’ve ever even mentioned Leave it to Beaver.  I can’t imagine how many pages you must have gone through in Google to find your way here.

freytag’s pyramid no words

Something tells me I just helped some kid with his/her homework.

good aether sexy video

Nice try.  Still no.

 

 

Bringing it to the Blog

Lost to the Aether’s been up for nearly a year by now.  You probably thought I’d have run out of ways to talk about myself by now, but I sure proved you wrong, haven’t I?!  During this year, we’ve made and lost friends, spewed way too many words about video games, and talked endlessly about how good I look.  Somehow, we’ve risen from having almost no readership to actually seeing a few people who seem to enjoy what I have to say.

And honestly, that surprises me a little.  Aside from some forum adventures, most of the stuff I’ve created is usually just seen by a close handful of people.  This is the first time I’ve tried blogging, and I really still haven’t settled on a consistent style for… well, pretty much anything.  Even after a year, I’m still working out my own approach to this.  And yet, even with all  other blogs out there, there still exist people who have read what I’ve written.  I’m so unused to actively writing for other people that I’m still wrapping my head around that.

Still!  This is probably going to be our last post for the year 2013, and I’m dedicating it to you, dear reader!  Specifically, I’ve been looking over how people have been finding this blog, and I figured I’d address some of the more interesting search terms.  Here we go!

video game female characters sexy

This post, in which I discuss what limited circumstances might provide for sexualized characters being appropriate for or adding to a game, is one of the most popular I’ve written.  However, it’s almost entirely reached by people searching for things such as this.  Something tells me they’re not quite finding what they’re looking for.

various Dark Souls search terms

So, something I had never considered.  I’m currently doing a blind Let’s Play of Dark Souls.  Meaning I’m writing up as I play my first time through the game.  I don’t know what’s coming next.  At least I didn’t, until I checked out some of these search terms.  People are looking for things waaaay in advance of where I am now.  I get spoiled on the game just by people finding me.

lilly satou h scene

Yes, another sex one.  I know I was asking for it by reviewing an eroge, but still.  One thing I find curious is that it seems to only be Lilly Satou people are searching for.  There are four other love interests in there, guys!  She probably has the least interesting sex scenes too, now that I think back on it…

stupid things on the internet

Hey!  That one hurts!

sex video aether

We’ve been getting this one since the first days of the blog, in surprising frequency given that I don’t know what exactly these people are looking for.  In any case, if you’re ever watching certain videos on the internet, and you get to wondering, no, that’s probably not me.

are left handed people better conbatants

Yes, absolutely.  In fact, we’re better at pretty much everything.  We’re better leaders, better lovers, better intellectuals… really you all should count yourselves blessed you get to share an Earth with we mighty southpaws.

why does ea ruin every game

This one’s a matter of opinion, I just thought it funny that someone decided to see if that answer to that eternal question could be found on the internet.

losttotheaether.wordpress.com

C’mon, you needed Google to find that for you?  That’s just lazy.

sexy playing video games

See, here’s a search term that captures exactly what we’re about at Lost to the Aether.  I’m incredibly sexy, I play a lot of video games, really, I’m just surprised that I’m not universally the top result for this term.

saints row series fanfic male boss love with viola dewynter

I swear that wasn’t me!!!  And I will deny that to my dying day!!!  Even though they’re a very cute couple and fit each other perfectly and omg did you see when the boss had to rescue her and they were like ! ❤ [NOTE TO SELF: delete this sentence before publishing]

tera patrik video hard

Got here as a result of my briefly writing of Tera Patrick’s role in Saints Row 2.  Whoever this was really ended up in the wrong place.

weight+gain+comic

That this would ever point anyone my way just hurts my feelings.

charlotte grewal middle name

You’re looking for Kendall’s middle name, which is Morgan.  There.  Now you can’t say I never did anything for you.

saints row why does he hate dex

Because the hardest mission of the first game was made so entirely because Dex’s AI drives like your drunk grandmother.  Also the betrayal, the attempted murder, and his traditional smug attitude.  But mostly that first one.

And… wow.  All that made me feel a lot more dirty than I thought it would.  Well, I’m off to go take a shower and scrub my shame off.  Happy 2014 everyone!