Pathways to Paradise

It’s that time of year again. Time where we take a look back at the year passed. Time where we review what we accomplished. Time where we honor all those people scouring the internet for their weird sex things who mistakenly ended up here, home of myself, the weirdest sex thing around.

I don’t know about you, but my 2017 blew chunks. Even this year’s search terms leading people to this blog are more mundane than they have been in years past. But still, it’s worth taking a look at what’s become a somewhat annual tradition for us here at Lost to the Aether, and seeing if we can discern just why exactly I am so crazy popular. Here are some of the more unusual search terms that have brought people here.

yandere simulator porn

Once again, this has taken the top slot of our search engine referrals. It used to be that people would mistakenly stumble onto our post about the visual novel Yandere-chan, which is neither porn nor is it Yandere Simulator. Midway through last year, I attempted to at least redirect people to something somewhat relevant to them by writing a post about Yandere Simulator, so that those getting lost on the dark side of the internet would find something halfway relevant to their search, at least. I like to think that I’ve left these randy wanderers at least a bit better off by connecting with their interests.

yandere chan porn

Except apparently I was already there for a bunch of people.

in legend of zelda is link an indian

The most popular post on this site by far is some random musings about the connection between the Japanese Rupee used in the occupation of Burma and the currency of Legend of Zelda. Rupees are a subject of much consideration on the internet. But to answer you question, no, Legend of Zelda has no direct connection to India, no shared themes, nothing. The rupee thing just seems to be a coincidence. Or is it? Read the internet’s hottest post to find out.

In any case, this is probably the biggest stretch I’ve seen so far, in regards to that subject.

viola dewynter boob inflation fanfic

Apparently, there’s a lot of weird searches that lead people here. I would normally let this one roll off me. But I got more than just a few hits coming from this fetish search. And it’s odd to me. Not only would multiple people be searching for this specific character in this specific fetish, but multiple people saw my site pop up in the search results, with nothing anywhere here about boob inflation I might add, and thought that they’d interrupt whatever it is people into boob inflation do and spend time here.

I’m not sure if I should be happy people are reading my stuff or if I should be hoping they were disappointed by what they found.

aether sex videos com

This search, or a variation on it, pops up every year. Give it a rest. You will never find them. I’ve hidden them too well.

stupid things said by cliff bleszinski

Hahahahahaha ha ha… ha…. aw man. I don’t mind the guy, particularly that he realizes this about himself, but yeah. There’s a well that’s never going to run dry.

saints row 2 red gang mullet

This one just makes me happy. I think I’m going to start calling the character that. Red Gang Mullet certainly fits him a lot better than whatever his name was.

yandere lost to the aether

For the record, no. I’ve written about yandere’s. I’m not one myself. Then again, would a yandere know that they were really yandere?

what is the exact falling action for the lost future story

Hey look! Somebody got distracted while doing their English II homework.

what month of the year does the aether fall from heaven

That’s probably the sweetest attempt to find out my birthday that I’ve ever come across. Still, no luck for you there. I’ve devoured my birthday a long time ago. The secret to my eternal youth.

The ladies choice guy

That’s right! I am the guy who is the ladies’ choice! You found the right place, coming here…

oh. wait. You were looking for something else.

jesus jedi

This one is notable mostly in that I have no idea how this lead you here. What could I have written that this search would possibly connect to. I’m honestly curious.

And that’s that for this year. See you all again in however long I feel like!

My Adventures in XCom 2

I got myself a new computer. I didn’t want to. I was perfectly happy with my old one. But you can’t always get what you want, so here I am, new computer in hand. Lap. There you go.

One of the important things to do with any new computer, of course, is to find out just how much it can handle. After all, if you’re going to be investing into any games for it, you need to know just how leet it is, else you could buy something above your system. And also, you get the hackerz casting hardz as to the spex of your system. You can’t have people hardzing your spex. Sure, you can just look at the system requirements, but that doesn’t give you anywhere near the knowledge on frame rates and specific graphic quality that a practical test does.

That drew me to XCom 2. A current gen game I actually wanted that I could get for cheap with a bunch of mystery gems on top through the recent Humble Monthly Bundle. If it worked on my system, and actually played well, I could comfortably get other modern games. If not, well, at least I got some other games I could play.

So when I started XCom 2 up, I really wasn’t planning on playing for long. My gaming schedule is rather full. Like, I need games to make reservations to get themselves in my immediate playlist. I played it for an hour, was satisfied with my system’s performance, and shut it down. But I couldn’t get the game off my mind. So I figured, you know what, Time? You can’t tell me what to do. I still have this super packed gaming schedule, so I wasn’t going to commit to a full runthrough, but given the nature of the game, I thought I’d give it an ironman run until it wasn’t possible for me to continue anymore.

Random Thoughts on Avengers: Age of Ultron

I had the opportunity to watch Avengers: Age of Ultron last night, a whole four hours before it was officially supposed to be released.  I know, I know, it’s galling, such a thing.  Releasing movies early ranks among the level of software pirates, parking meter tricksters, and spree murderers on the scale of ethical lapses.  As you all know, I am a just and righteous man, so I was just going to stay home.  Unfortunately, I hang out with the wrong crowd, and my so-called friends kidnapped me and forced me to watch it.  How vile!  I am absolutely aghast that they would force me to counteract my morals like that.

But, while I’m at it, I figured I’d at least put my thoughts down on the film.  Not so much a review, no, with a film release this big, you can get those anywhere, and I like to think that people come to Lost to the Aether for something a bit different.  And also, they come here because I am so smart, handsome, and interesting.  Anyways, if you want the bottom line, I enjoyed it a little less than I did the first film, but it’s still a good movie.  Beyond that, well, here are some completely random and unconnected reflections I have on the movie.

• So, a big change in the way the film delivers its story, whereas the first movie was all about the individuals coming together as a group, then the big, bad, world invasion, the second film breaks things down to a human level.  It’s more about how each character is as a human.  The first act sees a good amount of the team just goofing around with each other.  It’s a film about personalities, rather than the group as a cohesive whole.  The central conflict comes about because of a few character’s personal choices, the film goes out of its way to round out some of the characters who haven’t gotten much spotlight on them, and everyone gets their little moments to let their guard down and show who they are.  It’s a more human-level experience, that I think really works for the sequel.
• Unfortunately, this is tempered by the characters still being really flat.  I think that just comes from the age we’re in.  Big budget films need international markets to find success, and deep, complex characters are a lot more difficult to effectively translate between languages and cultures.  Still makes for a worse experience overall, no matter how necessary it is.
• Hawkeye has himself a long-term relationship.  I’m pretty sure that only came about to remove him as a candidate for Black Widow, after all the teases in the first film.
• Instead, Widow’s with the Hulk.  I never bought their relationship.  Their actors are really lacking in chemistry.
• For that matter, I don’t really jive with the way they handled the Black Widow in this film.  The past movies she’s been in, like the Winter Soldier, Iron Man 2, the First Avenger, she really added to it.  She had her own unique part in the conflict, she dealt with things in a unique way, and she actively contributed to the plot.  Moreover, she was distinct.  Irreplaceable.  In this film, Black Widow’s just here to be the woman.  She has two scenes offering some brief glimpses into her backstory, sure, but other than that, her point in the movie is the play the traditional feminine roles.  She’s the matching girlfriend, the emotional support, and the damsel in distress.  Her character has degenerated.  She was once a distinct figure in her own right, now she’s just the Smurfette of the crew.
• I’ve never read an Ultron story.  I have no idea what his personality’s like.  I’m pretty sure it’s not like this.  But that’s not a bad thing.  It would have been pretty easy to have him be the big generic death robot.  Having him like evil Iron Man adds a bit more to the character.
• I don’t think you can call something an ‘Age’ when it’s pretty much wrapped up within the week or so this film covers.
• There’s deaths in the film.  I won’t say who or when or how, but yeah, people die.  The movie gets absolutely no mileage out of it.
• And you know, I never thought I’d be complaining about this, but I think I’m just getting tired of the Whedonistic snark.  It’s all nice and funny when you sprinkle the dialogue with clever quips.  When everyone’s doing it, and they do it anytime anyone does anything?  It gets a little old.
• The creators did some nice work in building some leads for future movies.  And not just the next Avengers, either.  I’m pretty sure we saw the creation of a villain for the upcoming Black Panther, for instance, and I didn’t even notice until I slept on it.

And, that’s about all I got right now.  ‘Till next time.