Pathways to Paradise

It’s that time of year again. Time where we take a look back at the year passed. Time where we review what we accomplished. Time where we honor all those people scouring the internet for their weird sex things who mistakenly ended up here, home of myself, the weirdest sex thing around.

I don’t know about you, but my 2017 blew chunks. Even this year’s search terms leading people to this blog are more mundane than they have been in years past. But still, it’s worth taking a look at what’s become a somewhat annual tradition for us here at Lost to the Aether, and seeing if we can discern just why exactly I am so crazy popular. Here are some of the more unusual search terms that have brought people here.

yandere simulator porn

Once again, this has taken the top slot of our search engine referrals. It used to be that people would mistakenly stumble onto our post about the visual novel Yandere-chan, which is neither porn nor is it Yandere Simulator. Midway through last year, I attempted to at least redirect people to something somewhat relevant to them by writing a post about Yandere Simulator, so that those getting lost on the dark side of the internet would find something halfway relevant to their search, at least. I like to think that I’ve left these randy wanderers at least a bit better off by connecting with their interests.

yandere chan porn

Except apparently I was already there for a bunch of people.

in legend of zelda is link an indian

The most popular post on this site by far is some random musings about the connection between the Japanese Rupee used in the occupation of Burma and the currency of Legend of Zelda. Rupees are a subject of much consideration on the internet. But to answer you question, no, Legend of Zelda has no direct connection to India, no shared themes, nothing. The rupee thing just seems to be a coincidence. Or is it? Read the internet’s hottest post to find out.

In any case, this is probably the biggest stretch I’ve seen so far, in regards to that subject.

viola dewynter boob inflation fanfic

Apparently, there’s a lot of weird searches that lead people here. I would normally let this one roll off me. But I got more than just a few hits coming from this fetish search. And it’s odd to me. Not only would multiple people be searching for this specific character in this specific fetish, but multiple people saw my site pop up in the search results, with nothing anywhere here about boob inflation I might add, and thought that they’d interrupt whatever it is people into boob inflation do and spend time here.

I’m not sure if I should be happy people are reading my stuff or if I should be hoping they were disappointed by what they found.

aether sex videos com

This search, or a variation on it, pops up every year. Give it a rest. You will never find them. I’ve hidden them too well.

stupid things said by cliff bleszinski

Hahahahahaha ha ha… ha…. aw man. I don’t mind the guy, particularly that he realizes this about himself, but yeah. There’s a well that’s never going to run dry.

saints row 2 red gang mullet

This one just makes me happy. I think I’m going to start calling the character that. Red Gang Mullet certainly fits him a lot better than whatever his name was.

yandere lost to the aether

For the record, no. I’ve written about yandere’s. I’m not one myself. Then again, would a yandere know that they were really yandere?

what is the exact falling action for the lost future story

Hey look! Somebody got distracted while doing their English II homework.

what month of the year does the aether fall from heaven

That’s probably the sweetest attempt to find out my birthday that I’ve ever come across. Still, no luck for you there. I’ve devoured my birthday a long time ago. The secret to my eternal youth.

The ladies choice guy

That’s right! I am the guy who is the ladies’ choice! You found the right place, coming here…

oh. wait. You were looking for something else.

jesus jedi

This one is notable mostly in that I have no idea how this lead you here. What could I have written that this search would possibly connect to. I’m honestly curious.

And that’s that for this year. See you all again in however long I feel like!

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The Best of Intentions

I’m putting this in writing because if other people know I’m thinking of it, I’m going to be more inclined to follow through with it.  It would be like shaming myself into doing something, except I don’t really feel shame because I’m convinced I’m the best in the world no matter what I do.  This phrase is really getting away from me.  Let’s move on.

I don’t like leaving things unfinished.  Not personally, not professionally, not even with my games.  Yet I’ve done an awful lot of that around this blog.  Series half started, petered out let’s plays, retrospectives that draw a lot of views but still don’t carry through the entire franchise they’re covering.

I would like to correct that.  My reading, writing, and thinking capacities aren’t the best right now, but given time, I would like to go back and cap off all those series I tried to start.  At my pace of writing, we’ll be seeing this interspersed over the next few years, and it’s going to be calling back a lot of old, old posts that most people who check in now had no clue had been going on because I have been blogging for a long, long time in internet terms.  Maybe people will like them.  Maybe they won’t.  But I’m mostly doing this for me.  At some point in my life, younger and slightly less sexy Aether thought it would be a good idea to be running through those series, and if I can’t trust him, who can I trust?

Anyways, to my recollection, the series I’ve got going now are our Fallout Let’s Play, our series on women as leading protagonists in games, and that Higurashi in-depth analysis I’ve been kind of lagging on.  We’ll be continuing with those.

Then, in the months or years to come, we’ll also see me re-picking up our Saint’s Row Retrospect and the Persona Retrospective, and both our Let’s Plays on Recettear and on Shin Megami Tensei.  The SMT one didn’t appear on this blog, but it’s out there on the internet and unfinished, and I don’t want to leave it like that.  I’d also like to be revisiting the whole Visual Novel Theatre deal a bit more, although that one was never a finite series and more just something I haven’t really touched on in a while.

So yeah.  That’s a goal.  A bit more of what we’ll be seeing in the future.  You can get back to your day now.

The One Lovely Blog Award

There was supposed to be a blog post here.  A long one.  I’ve been working in my spare time on one for a while.  This is one that I’m putting a lot into.  Working a lot of thought and research into it, meaning it’s probably going to be one of those posts that so tailored to my own mental processes that not many others are going to agree with or be interested in the content, but it’s fun to put those out every once in a while, and what’s blogging if you’re not selfish every once in a while?

In any case, I had planned to put this post here, today, figured that I’d have the time to finish it up over the weekend.  Unfortunately, life, as it often does, said no.  Between work, chores, homework, and social obligations, I’ve not had the time I wanted to to work on that post.  Looking at the post, I’m not anywhere near finished.  So, we were going to be looking at one of those sad, sad times where it takes me a while to get a post out, and everyone’s hearts feels smaller in the interim.

olba.jpg

Then, I remembered that a fortnight ago, the lovely Athena at the lovely blog Ambigaming had nominated us here at Lost to the Aether for the One Lovely Blog Award.  I’ve been a little hesitant to follow up on that, what with the fact that this is one of those viral social things and I’m just not very social conflicting with the fact that I think I am totally awesome and love talking about myself.  These two opposed mentalities created a stalemate until… well, until I needed some quick content and this provided a good framework.  You should go over to Athena’s blog and thank her for that.  While you’re at it, check out some of her posts, too.  I mean, if you’ve been following me this far, you probably enjoy overthinking video games, and she does that really well!  Especially if you’re interested at all at how brain science works with video games.

And yeah, some of you who’ve been with us for a while may be wondering how I might have anything more to say about myself after I’ve already been Double Liebstered and a Versatile Blogger.  Oh, how much you underestimate me.  I am as complicated as I am mysterious.  Besides, the OLBA on requires me to state seven things about myself.  Seven!  I could do that all day.

Let’s go!

  1. I was a giant Nintendo fanboy for the longest time.  Yeah, the bad, argumentative type.  I don’t know what to say, there was something wrong with me.  That had lasted until I was given a PS2 back in 2007 and got to expand my gaming horizons.  Even now, I’ve owned at least one version of every console and handheld Nintendo’s put out, aside from the Virtual Boy.
  2. I stopped acknowledging my birthday years ago.  This way, I never age, and shall remain eternally youthful.
  3. I haven’t really written into it here, but as you may have guessed from my ill-fated and poorly suited to the internet-format attempt to create a graphic novel, I really like graphic novels.  Or comics, or manga, or whatever you want to call them.  I read more of those than I do traditional literature.
  4. My father was a huge gun nerd.  I have never cared about guns, but I was able to, check the safety, securely unload, and strip a gun at the age of five, thanks to him.
  5. It seems that most of my interests have pulled a complete 180 from where I was as a teenager.  As a youngling, I was never very interested in dancing, dating, sports, clothes, and a whole bunch of other stuff that I’ve really grown into and now I kick myself for wasting all those times and opportunities in my teenage years.
  6. My hair is my best physical feature.  I’m like Samson, and that’s where my power comes from, except my power is to make people weak in the knees and keep them from thinking of anything else.
  7. I’m not a fitness freak or anything, but I’ve gotten really into calisthenics in the past few years.  I can’t even say why that specifically, but those bodyweight exercises just feel so satisfying to me.

So… there.  That’s me.  And wasn’t that fun?  We’ll see you all again, once I get caught up with life!

Bringing you to the Blog, 2016 Edition

Hey, so it’s been an Aether asskicker of a month.  You may have noticed this, as you felt that vague sense of depression settling in, as you noticed that you don’t have as much new Lost to the Aether content as usual.  Yeah, that happens sometimes.  I’m trying to defeat the final boss known as real life right now, and you know, this stuff takes time.

So, my schedule won’t clear up for another week or so.  I’m halfway through my next post here, but clearly not going to have it done in time to make your lives better this week.  But I don’t want to leave all you guys hanging, so I figured, hey, let’s pull out a good old mainstay here, and take a look at some of the search terms that are introducing you to the blog.  And hey, as it turns out, a lot of people on the internet are weird.  And many of those are reading these words.  Let’s make fun of them!

yandere simulator porn

So, this year, I tried to stem the tide of people looking for Yandere Simulator and accidentally finding the similarly-named Yandere-chan by, you know, actually writing about Yandere Simulator.  And only a little bit about porn.  In doing so, I was trying to perform a public service for the internet at large.  Helping people actually find something relevant to what they’re looking for, rather than getting them confused by the similarly named games.

yandere chan porn

Hey look!  It worked!  No more mistaken placements here!

Wait…

yandere simulator yandere chan porn

Okay, yeah, you made your point.

sexy female dragon

I write about being sexy a lot.  I get it.  The state of being that is sexiness is something I have to live with constantly.  It is both my blessing and my curse.  So it ends up coming out through my writing fairly often.  So I see how that would draw a lot of those types of search terms.

Even so, I don’t think I’ve ever written about lusty dragons.  What the blazes, Google?

세인츠로우3 모닝스타

How… even… Okay, so Google translate says this is looking for Saints Row 3 material.  Which I’ve definitely written about.  Even so… Well, I guess the excellence of my writing just crosses language barriers.  It’s like a smile.

drops of god 12 apostle spoiler

Wikipedia will spoil that for you.  Seriously, given that the series gave up in English after five volumes, and even the Scanlators don’t bother, Wikipedia is the closest thing to an official English  language source.

why is sephiroth left handed

How else would you represent the coolest and most supreme character of the game?  Seriously, you want something to represent that someone is just plain better than anyone else, make them left-handed.

real life yandere stories

Please no.  Like, I get that there’s that fascination that drives people to look up serial killer stories, but still.  That’s too much of my life in there for me.

yandere simulator real story porn

No.  No.  Just no.

hybrid heaven 2

Haaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

aether sex videos

We’ve been through this already.  Yes, I’m very sexy.  Yes, I am the perfect lady’s man.  But I know fully well to leave that stuff in the bedroom.

You will never find it.

leave it to beaver retrospective part 3

Wut.  I don’t think I’ve ever even mentioned Leave it to Beaver.  I can’t imagine how many pages you must have gone through in Google to find your way here.

freytag’s pyramid no words

Something tells me I just helped some kid with his/her homework.

good aether sexy video

Nice try.  Still no.

 

 

Bringing it Back to the Blog

My life is in tiny little boxes, and I have carried the weight of every single one of them.

Sounds slightly poetic, and very poncy, but it’s true.  Literally, at least.  Moving sucks.  It has torn my life asunder, and flipped my world upside down.  That part’s not literal.  Don’t worry.  In any case, that has been the cause of that great big Aether-shaped hole in your heart that you just have not been able to fill.  I know it’s been hurting you.  It’s been hurting me too, feeling the need to create but just being unable to with everything else that’s been going on.

And yet, there is no true king in my life but myself.  If I want the time to write up something, I just need to command my life to allow it. And so I do here.  Sure, there may be consequences, the tasks left undone, but the choice is completely mine.

Basically, this is a lot of words to say I’m back.  Gonna try to be, at least.  We’ll see how well I can balance the time between here and the aforementioned consequences.

And now that I’m here, I thought I’d take a look at what’s bringing you lot here as well.  Sometimes I forget there’s a whole lot of weirdos on the internet, and a lot of them find their way to my blog.  Not you though.  You’re cool.  But let’s celebrate the changing of the year by taking a look back at some of the more unusual search terms that drove people here.

yandere simulator porn

Fun fact: the most popular post on my site last year was not anything you might think.  It wasn’t the Dark Souls runthrough, the Saints Row retrospectives that seem to have real staying power, or anything else that I’ve devoted a lot of time, energy, and words to.  It was freaking Yandere-chan.  And it seems there are two types of people who find the Yandere-chan post, people who are actually looking for Yandere Simulator and people who are actually looking for porn of Yandere Simulator.  Which might make me a little sad, that my most popular post is just people winding up in the wrong part of the internet, but matching the stats up, it looks like around one out of every six people who check the post go on to the Yandere-chan writer’s site.  So hey, hopefully I’ve helped these people grow their lives a bit by introducing them to a freeware visual novel that’s not half bad.

Also, if you’re still looking for Yandere Simulator, find that here.

undead attack dog

It surprises me not that people are searching for this, but that so many people are searching for this.  This was my third highest search term for last year.  Was there some sort of sale I wasn’t aware of?

saints row twins fat

What?  And also, why?  Did I stumble on to another sex thing?

dark souls welcoming committee

“Hello, we’d like to thank you very much for being a part of this!  You can go ahead and leave your dignity at the coat check, and we’ll have someone along to provide your complementary serving of pain shortly.  Feel free to chat with some of our other residents while you’re waiting, confident knowing that some of them probably won’t kill you for your Humanity the moment you turn your back. Unfortunately, not all of you will make it through the full selection of our services, but we know that those who do will have really, really, really, really, really earned it.”

aether sex vidoe

Nice try.  But I’ve made sure that’s buried well and far away.  You’re going to have to get a bit more tricky than that if you want to find it.

is 4 leaf studios doing anything

This isn’t a question you’d normally find an answer for here, but hey, I’m a giving guy.  Gamewise, no.  Just minor updates and support for new languages for Katawa Shoujo, and even that’s been officially ended.  If you’re big on the con circuit, you might see them around, however, peddling some related wares or other.

how can i write a novel, topic: ‘innocent sin’

Somebody thought the internet would tell them this.  Somebody went into the Googs, typed in these exact words, and expected an answer.  Then they got distracted and started reading the words of the worlds sexiest blogger as he talked about video games.  Like so many novel ideas, nothing ever came of it.

agnes oblige boob

It is becoming slightly distressing to me how many people are reading my blog with their dicks in their hands.

outlast main character face

I have never written about Outlast WHY WOULD THIS TAKE YOU HERE?

which of the following elements from freytag’s pyramid just before the denouement

Looks like somebody had some homework but wasn’t paying attention in class.  How naughty.

aether plays dark souls

Look at this.  Just, take a moment, and look at this.  Do you know what this means?  There are people out there in the world who actually made the effort to find and read the stuff I wrote.  That’s a good feeling.

buliwhde aekther sex videos

Well, see, now you’re trying.  You’re not trying very well, but you’re trying.  Still miles off.

real hand cut in with name alvina

There’s something wrong with people.  I really hope the government has you on a list, somewhere.

athear man sex video

Nope.  Still not.

stalker loner

Some search engine somewhere took a look at these terms, ran it through all its big computery process, and decided “Yep, sounds like this guy Aether!”  I hate the world.

Gotdommit, that just made it worse, didn’t it?

priscilla the crossbreed is a liar this world is peaceful, its inhabitants kind

This guy gets it.  Did she not see just how many corpses littered her peaceful world?  Many of them were mine!  I really should have fought her, just for that.

will konami ever make another hybrid heaven

HahahahahahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhooooooooooooooohoooooooooHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Level Complete! Press Start to Continue

Hey, boys and girls.  It’s been a while.  And I know it’s been hard, having to go without my unique, charming wit for so long.  It’s been hard for me too, having all these great thoughts and being forced to deprive the world of their wonder.  Sometimes, being so awesome is a curse.

I don’t like to fill this blog up with too much of my meatspace issues, but this one is going to affect future posting, so I figured I owed it to any one who cares enough to read this to let you know what’s going on.  Obviously, I hadn’t been posting.  This had been expected.  I’ve had things happen.  Some things good, some bad, but all things that kept me away from the computer, disrupting the whole posting deal.  And unfortunately, it’s looking like that’s going to continue.  Most of the future things are looking positive, though, for those of you that care.  After one of the most dehumanizing experiences I’ve put myself through, a three year long fruitless job search, I’ve finally managed to find a workplace that recognizes my obvious greatness and landed myself a new job.  Halfway across the state.  So I’ve got some major life changes ahead of me, as I spend the next couple weeks finding housing, putting my life into little boxes, and getting myself set up in a whole new community.  It’s not going to be quick, and it’s not going to be easy.  And it’s going to mean I’m not going to have time to create content.  The blog’s not going anywhere, but it’s going to be a little while until I’m able to put anything new up here.  Most likely, at least until the end of the month.  Until then, though, we’re going to be in a bit of stasis here.

So yeah, that’s the scoop.  I’m moving onto bigger and better things in life, and it’s going to take me a little while to get situated.  Until then, I’m not going to be able to publicly compliment myself over the internet.  But rest assured, we will be back, with all the same quality content you know and love.

Laying down the Line

I’m going to try something new here.  Something groundbreaking at Lost to the Aether.  Something I haven’t done at all, outside of my Dark Souls playthrough.  I am going to open myself up for some public shame.

Here’s the thing.

Image

I’ve made some commitments.  Commitments to this blog.  And it’s been taking me a good long while to fulfill them.  You remember the Persona retrospective I started up, what, five months ago?  Where the hell has that been at?  And the Dark Souls thing?  The Let’s Play that’s currently ongoing?  Not counting this last intermission post, we haven’t seen any movement on that since January!  Man, that Aether’s pretty garbage all around, isn’t he.  It’s ok, it’s ok.  You don’t say it, but I know that’s what you’re thinking.

So, here’s what we’re going to do.  I’m going to make a public declaration, beucause this way, I’ll be motivated to get it done.  If you all know I’ve committed to something, I will be focused on avoiding the threat of shame to finish it.

So, here we go.  Barring some major life event, such as me getting hit by lightning or finally getting a new job and being able to move out of this hole, which seem to have the same chances of happening, I’m going to have the next Dark Souls post up this week.  I’ll also have the Persona Retrospective ready to go before the month’s out.  I’d like to move towards doing at least two Dark Souls entries a month, but I’m not going to promise the moon until life stops being horrid to me.  So that’s where we’re at now.  So there.  New posts coming soon.  We’re bringing life back to this blog!