Pathways to Paradise

It’s that time of year again. Time where we take a look back at the year passed. Time where we review what we accomplished. Time where we honor all those people scouring the internet for their weird sex things who mistakenly ended up here, home of myself, the weirdest sex thing around.

I don’t know about you, but my 2017 blew chunks. Even this year’s search terms leading people to this blog are more mundane than they have been in years past. But still, it’s worth taking a look at what’s become a somewhat annual tradition for us here at Lost to the Aether, and seeing if we can discern just why exactly I am so crazy popular. Here are some of the more unusual search terms that have brought people here.

yandere simulator porn

Once again, this has taken the top slot of our search engine referrals. It used to be that people would mistakenly stumble onto our post about the visual novel Yandere-chan, which is neither porn nor is it Yandere Simulator. Midway through last year, I attempted to at least redirect people to something somewhat relevant to them by writing a post about Yandere Simulator, so that those getting lost on the dark side of the internet would find something halfway relevant to their search, at least. I like to think that I’ve left these randy wanderers at least a bit better off by connecting with their interests.

yandere chan porn

Except apparently I was already there for a bunch of people.

in legend of zelda is link an indian

The most popular post on this site by far is some random musings about the connection between the Japanese Rupee used in the occupation of Burma and the currency of Legend of Zelda. Rupees are a subject of much consideration on the internet. But to answer you question, no, Legend of Zelda has no direct connection to India, no shared themes, nothing. The rupee thing just seems to be a coincidence. Or is it? Read the internet’s hottest post to find out.

In any case, this is probably the biggest stretch I’ve seen so far, in regards to that subject.

viola dewynter boob inflation fanfic

Apparently, there’s a lot of weird searches that lead people here. I would normally let this one roll off me. But I got more than just a few hits coming from this fetish search. And it’s odd to me. Not only would multiple people be searching for this specific character in this specific fetish, but multiple people saw my site pop up in the search results, with nothing anywhere here about boob inflation I might add, and thought that they’d interrupt whatever it is people into boob inflation do and spend time here.

I’m not sure if I should be happy people are reading my stuff or if I should be hoping they were disappointed by what they found.

aether sex videos com

This search, or a variation on it, pops up every year. Give it a rest. You will never find them. I’ve hidden them too well.

stupid things said by cliff bleszinski

Hahahahahaha ha ha… ha…. aw man. I don’t mind the guy, particularly that he realizes this about himself, but yeah. There’s a well that’s never going to run dry.

saints row 2 red gang mullet

This one just makes me happy. I think I’m going to start calling the character that. Red Gang Mullet certainly fits him a lot better than whatever his name was.

yandere lost to the aether

For the record, no. I’ve written about yandere’s. I’m not one myself. Then again, would a yandere know that they were really yandere?

what is the exact falling action for the lost future story

Hey look! Somebody got distracted while doing their English II homework.

what month of the year does the aether fall from heaven

That’s probably the sweetest attempt to find out my birthday that I’ve ever come across. Still, no luck for you there. I’ve devoured my birthday a long time ago. The secret to my eternal youth.

The ladies choice guy

That’s right! I am the guy who is the ladies’ choice! You found the right place, coming here…

oh. wait. You were looking for something else.

jesus jedi

This one is notable mostly in that I have no idea how this lead you here. What could I have written that this search would possibly connect to. I’m honestly curious.

And that’s that for this year. See you all again in however long I feel like!

10 responses to “Pathways to Paradise

  1. If this is the year you were expecting me to get creepy search results, I’m afraid I’m going to have you leave you disappointed once more. Here are some of the highlights:

    metroid other m adam samus “one sided” relationship
    legend of zelda link to the past how to have more magic
    why are my characters losing mp in dragon warrior iii
    girl died by boy cry
    released braid
    son flickies island saturn dvd
    dragon quest iii right key
    end task call of duty image – modern warfare
    22832 ma ninten january totu janaten sl kitna kali hai
    mother 3 linda
    eclipse under sink storage unit
    xbox one spiel the witness
    does final fantasy tactics advance have replay value
    mother 3 does have a happy ending!
    extra torment
    deadly zanzibar hamsters
    girl dies boy cry image
    imej phantom skull
    is davey wreden gay

    Some of them were a little out there, but still nothing terribly outlandish. I wonder about whoever wrote “eclipse under sink storage unit”, though – not to mention “mother 3 does have a happy ending!” Also, “deadly Zanzibar hamsters” is one of those things that sounds outlandish but makes sense in context (though it’s still a pretty wacky development anyway).

    But seriously, I’m sorry your 2017 wasn’t too great. Here’s hoping 2018 ends up being an improvement!

    • Hey, thanks.

      I’m sure some of these weird results I’m drawing to myself by referring to myself as ‘sexy’ two or three times a post. Gets the search engine optimization all mixed up. You do have a few odd ones in there, and I bet that number’s going to grow. THe more content you put out, the more people are going to be finding it in strange ways. So here’s looking forward to an even stranger new year.

  2. My search items are normal aside from the occasional cat girl porn entry. Guess that’s what happens when I review Cat Planet Cuties.

    • I am honestly very surprised at that. With some of the things you’ve written about, I was sure you’d end up with just as much weirdo visitors as I. Anime fans can get rather… fanatic.

  3. Well, people are searching my site for “Mass Effect 1 downloadable content” so… oops? Also, “Lightning Farron face” is a popular search term. Otherwise, people are searching for Dragon Age 4 and the Indoctrination Theory, so a pretty tame year here, too.

    I’m sorry to hear your 2017 was so rough. I hope 2018 goes a little more smoothly for you.

  4. Love these posts every year, thank you again for the chuckles 😀 Your interpretation of the ‘what month of the year does the aether fall from heaven’ especially made me laugh.

    Looking at other bloggers’ comments, it seems I’m with you in the dodgy search results club. I don’t refer to myself as sexy multiple times per post, but I do go in for lowbrow humour and I do mention Sexy Parodius with some regularlity!

    My favourite search results from 2017:
    verry verry big ass
    greg sestero naked
    the back of photos with mario
    ha zelda no ps1?
    gregory horror show porn
    blue semen
    tokyo mirage sessions boring

    My favourite is the verry first one here, but I also like the uncertainty of ‘ha zelda no ps1?’. He/she is gloating over console warz with that opening ‘ha’, but is also clearly lacking confidence with the question mark.

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