Bringing you to the Blog, 2016 Edition

Hey, so it’s been an Aether asskicker of a month.  You may have noticed this, as you felt that vague sense of depression settling in, as you noticed that you don’t have as much new Lost to the Aether content as usual.  Yeah, that happens sometimes.  I’m trying to defeat the final boss known as real life right now, and you know, this stuff takes time.

So, my schedule won’t clear up for another week or so.  I’m halfway through my next post here, but clearly not going to have it done in time to make your lives better this week.  But I don’t want to leave all you guys hanging, so I figured, hey, let’s pull out a good old mainstay here, and take a look at some of the search terms that are introducing you to the blog.  And hey, as it turns out, a lot of people on the internet are weird.  And many of those are reading these words.  Let’s make fun of them!

yandere simulator porn

So, this year, I tried to stem the tide of people looking for Yandere Simulator and accidentally finding the similarly-named Yandere-chan by, you know, actually writing about Yandere Simulator.  And only a little bit about porn.  In doing so, I was trying to perform a public service for the internet at large.  Helping people actually find something relevant to what they’re looking for, rather than getting them confused by the similarly named games.

yandere chan porn

Hey look!  It worked!  No more mistaken placements here!

Wait…

yandere simulator yandere chan porn

Okay, yeah, you made your point.

sexy female dragon

I write about being sexy a lot.  I get it.  The state of being that is sexiness is something I have to live with constantly.  It is both my blessing and my curse.  So it ends up coming out through my writing fairly often.  So I see how that would draw a lot of those types of search terms.

Even so, I don’t think I’ve ever written about lusty dragons.  What the blazes, Google?

세인츠로우3 모닝스타

How… even… Okay, so Google translate says this is looking for Saints Row 3 material.  Which I’ve definitely written about.  Even so… Well, I guess the excellence of my writing just crosses language barriers.  It’s like a smile.

drops of god 12 apostle spoiler

Wikipedia will spoil that for you.  Seriously, given that the series gave up in English after five volumes, and even the Scanlators don’t bother, Wikipedia is the closest thing to an official English  language source.

why is sephiroth left handed

How else would you represent the coolest and most supreme character of the game?  Seriously, you want something to represent that someone is just plain better than anyone else, make them left-handed.

real life yandere stories

Please no.  Like, I get that there’s that fascination that drives people to look up serial killer stories, but still.  That’s too much of my life in there for me.

yandere simulator real story porn

No.  No.  Just no.

hybrid heaven 2

Haaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

aether sex videos

We’ve been through this already.  Yes, I’m very sexy.  Yes, I am the perfect lady’s man.  But I know fully well to leave that stuff in the bedroom.

You will never find it.

leave it to beaver retrospective part 3

Wut.  I don’t think I’ve ever even mentioned Leave it to Beaver.  I can’t imagine how many pages you must have gone through in Google to find your way here.

freytag’s pyramid no words

Something tells me I just helped some kid with his/her homework.

good aether sexy video

Nice try.  Still no.

 

 

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10 responses to “Bringing you to the Blog, 2016 Edition

  1. Interesting point you made there. Makes perfect sense to me; after all, Link is left-handed as well. Now if making someone left-handed is cool, how many points would they get if they made a character ambidextrous?

    Anyway, I stand on my perfect record when it comes to only getting family-friendly search results. Most of them continue to be about games I’ve reviewed. There was a funny one where one of them asked, “Isn’t Limbo just Ico?”

    • Ambidextry is only a left-hander who can’t commit. Or one of those filthy righties trying to force themselves to be as amazing, cool, or sexy as a pure blooded leftie, without quite being able to pull it off. So no, nowhere near as cool, that’s what. After all, isn’t Super Mac so much cooler than Little Mac? Isn’t Shadow the Hedgehog so much cooler than Knuckles? Isn’t Luke Fon Fabre so much cooler than Yuri Lowell?

      Wait, something seems wrong about all of those.

      That’s not right. That can’t be right. I can’t be the only one that’s attracting these people here. Why is it only my site that so many people are reading with their pants down?!

  2. This post made me go look up what yandere is. I think I’ve been confusing it with tsundere this entire time. I feel like such a fool.

    I very rarely get to see how people reached my blog through search engines. All that usually comes up is “encrypted search terms”.

    • And now you know. Isn’t your life so much better for it?! How many times has it happened that you’ve been stumbling through your day, hearing people talk about their lovely yanderes, only to find nothing but confusion as you attempt to make sense of it. But now, you have pulled the wool from your own eyes. You are enlightened. You are free.

      In all seriousness, they’re pretty much the same, except yanderes are even further out along the “why do people find this attractive?” spectrum. I’ve written about them twice now. Google seems to think that makes me an expert.

      Yeah, 90% of my hits come up as encrypted search terms, too. I’ve heard that you can load up Google Analytics to your blog, and that will let you know what a lot of those actually are, but I’ve never managed to make the widget work correctly.

  3. Shit, how did my search history end up on your blog?! Just joking. I wish my search history was as eventful as this.

    I did get a satisfying hit the other day on the blog: “sexy microphones”, which brought the searcher to a joke image I did last year: https://veryverygaming.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/yeti-makes-you-want-to-bone-1.jpg

    Anyway it’s just nice to know that one of my attempts to bring non-gamers onto the blog has actually worked, and we’ve now identified a potential microphone fetish audience.

    • I got a new one today. “yandere daughter sex”. This is my life. This shall be my memorial. I shall be remembered for that, more than anything else.

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