Bringing it Back to the Blog

My life is in tiny little boxes, and I have carried the weight of every single one of them.

Sounds slightly poetic, and very poncy, but it’s true.  Literally, at least.  Moving sucks.  It has torn my life asunder, and flipped my world upside down.  That part’s not literal.  Don’t worry.  In any case, that has been the cause of that great big Aether-shaped hole in your heart that you just have not been able to fill.  I know it’s been hurting you.  It’s been hurting me too, feeling the need to create but just being unable to with everything else that’s been going on.

And yet, there is no true king in my life but myself.  If I want the time to write up something, I just need to command my life to allow it. And so I do here.  Sure, there may be consequences, the tasks left undone, but the choice is completely mine.

Basically, this is a lot of words to say I’m back.  Gonna try to be, at least.  We’ll see how well I can balance the time between here and the aforementioned consequences.

And now that I’m here, I thought I’d take a look at what’s bringing you lot here as well.  Sometimes I forget there’s a whole lot of weirdos on the internet, and a lot of them find their way to my blog.  Not you though.  You’re cool.  But let’s celebrate the changing of the year by taking a look back at some of the more unusual search terms that drove people here.

yandere simulator porn

Fun fact: the most popular post on my site last year was not anything you might think.  It wasn’t the Dark Souls runthrough, the Saints Row retrospectives that seem to have real staying power, or anything else that I’ve devoted a lot of time, energy, and words to.  It was freaking Yandere-chan.  And it seems there are two types of people who find the Yandere-chan post, people who are actually looking for Yandere Simulator and people who are actually looking for porn of Yandere Simulator.  Which might make me a little sad, that my most popular post is just people winding up in the wrong part of the internet, but matching the stats up, it looks like around one out of every six people who check the post go on to the Yandere-chan writer’s site.  So hey, hopefully I’ve helped these people grow their lives a bit by introducing them to a freeware visual novel that’s not half bad.

Also, if you’re still looking for Yandere Simulator, find that here.

undead attack dog

It surprises me not that people are searching for this, but that so many people are searching for this.  This was my third highest search term for last year.  Was there some sort of sale I wasn’t aware of?

saints row twins fat

What?  And also, why?  Did I stumble on to another sex thing?

dark souls welcoming committee

“Hello, we’d like to thank you very much for being a part of this!  You can go ahead and leave your dignity at the coat check, and we’ll have someone along to provide your complementary serving of pain shortly.  Feel free to chat with some of our other residents while you’re waiting, confident knowing that some of them probably won’t kill you for your Humanity the moment you turn your back. Unfortunately, not all of you will make it through the full selection of our services, but we know that those who do will have really, really, really, really, really earned it.”

aether sex vidoe

Nice try.  But I’ve made sure that’s buried well and far away.  You’re going to have to get a bit more tricky than that if you want to find it.

is 4 leaf studios doing anything

This isn’t a question you’d normally find an answer for here, but hey, I’m a giving guy.  Gamewise, no.  Just minor updates and support for new languages for Katawa Shoujo, and even that’s been officially ended.  If you’re big on the con circuit, you might see them around, however, peddling some related wares or other.

how can i write a novel, topic: ‘innocent sin’

Somebody thought the internet would tell them this.  Somebody went into the Googs, typed in these exact words, and expected an answer.  Then they got distracted and started reading the words of the worlds sexiest blogger as he talked about video games.  Like so many novel ideas, nothing ever came of it.

agnes oblige boob

It is becoming slightly distressing to me how many people are reading my blog with their dicks in their hands.

outlast main character face

I have never written about Outlast WHY WOULD THIS TAKE YOU HERE?

which of the following elements from freytag’s pyramid just before the denouement

Looks like somebody had some homework but wasn’t paying attention in class.  How naughty.

aether plays dark souls

Look at this.  Just, take a moment, and look at this.  Do you know what this means?  There are people out there in the world who actually made the effort to find and read the stuff I wrote.  That’s a good feeling.

buliwhde aekther sex videos

Well, see, now you’re trying.  You’re not trying very well, but you’re trying.  Still miles off.

real hand cut in with name alvina

There’s something wrong with people.  I really hope the government has you on a list, somewhere.

athear man sex video

Nope.  Still not.

stalker loner

Some search engine somewhere took a look at these terms, ran it through all its big computery process, and decided “Yep, sounds like this guy Aether!”  I hate the world.

Gotdommit, that just made it worse, didn’t it?

priscilla the crossbreed is a liar this world is peaceful, its inhabitants kind

This guy gets it.  Did she not see just how many corpses littered her peaceful world?  Many of them were mine!  I really should have fought her, just for that.

will konami ever make another hybrid heaven

HahahahahahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhooooooooooooooohoooooooooHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Advertisements

6 responses to “Bringing it Back to the Blog

    • I think I might try a post of nothing but the naughtiest words I can think of. No context, no rhyme or reason, just one sex act after another. We’ll see if the lack of anything actually sexy other than the words themselves can actually stop the internet sex machine.

  1. Yeesh, I wonder how these people would react when they learn that Google saves what they search for? Or are these the people who think shame is something one puts on toast?

    My results were much more boring. Amazingly, they all had to do with games I reviewed.

    Highlights include (as written):

    “mother 3 is not the masterpiece”
    clicker the last of us
    chrono trigger final boss wallpaper
    nuclear missiles blast resident evil
    what happens to the yoshis when there down resulting game over in yoshi’s story
    clicker the last of ast rema
    far cri 3
    earthbound zero lloyd best setup
    planescape maximum dialog options screenshot
    fire emblem dumbed down
    the last of us pictures of the city with clickers

    I’m not sure if it’s in all lowercase letters for you too, but it’s funnier that way, so I rolled with it.

    Anyway, I hope you had a good time over the holidays! Here’s hoping 2016 turns out great!

    • Eh, as long as Google doesn’t attach it to a person for the whole world to see, people will still be dropping the most shameless searches they can think of. They’ve got urges. Urges that need to be filled. Urges that drive them to blogs, apparently.

      What? All your results were actually on topic?! That’s no good! From now on, at least once per post you need to say something about how good you look. That’ll fix it for you. I shall not be alone in attracting all the creepers!

      Hey man, you too. May 2016 be a year of joy and conquest for you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s